Fashion works in mysterious ways. Twenty years ago something might have looked ridiculous, but tomorrow it could be all the rage. Take the humble hipster, for example. This is a modern paradigm of fashion that spawned sometime in the US in the 90s. A hipster would have been called a nerd back then, but today hipster is the fashion of choice throughout the UK and the US. If you want to be a hipster and you like cashmere knitwear, then make sure that you follow this guide to the letter.
Glasses
The most obvious first step to hipsterdom are the glasses. You must have glasses if you want to be a hipster, but not any old pair will do. Black frames. Thick. Square. The geekier, the better. You don't need glasses? You have contacts? Get some anyway. Every hipster has to have the glasses as a means of identification between fellow hipsters. I know plenty of hipsters who got glasses with plain lenses put in. Easy, now go get ‘em, cowboy!
Hair
Not really that important, but should be longish and unkempt. Nerdy side-partings are usually a good idea for both genders. For men, facial hair is a must, especially a pencil moustache.
Music
For hipsters, musical taste is a continuous arms-race to try and find the most obscure, esoteric and underground bands available. Then one that artist gets enough recognition and thus becomes more ‘mainstream', the band is discarded and the cycle starts anew. So musical taste is an ongoing battle between hipsters to keep artists a secret so that they can be cooler. Typical hipster genres include indie-pop, twee, electro and some light hip-hop. Anything with plenty of synths is preferable.
Clothes
Jeans or leggings that should be as tight as possible are the first step, especially for men. For ladies, knee-length skirts and tights work best. For the top-half you can be a little more liberal here, but tight shirts with a deep V-neck are an excellent choice, particularly if you have some vintage sailors tattoos on your chest. If you're lucky enough to be bestowed with the gift of bountiful amounts of chest hair, then you've got a distinct advantage. In colder months, a nice cashmere sweater will really set the whole thing off, particular if you can get a turtleneck.
Now you're ready to unleash yourselves upon the East London fields. Don't worry, although this guide was pretty tongue in cheek, being a hipster is actually very cool. Now go get ‘em!
Adrian Fisher is a London-based freelance journalist with a mission to make you a better and happier human being. Drawing attention to the peculiarities of life in the modern age is all part of the package.Check out his other articles for everything you need to know about fashion and styles.
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